Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"Are you MR.Viljoen and MR . Swanapoel?"

"Are you MR.Viljoen and MR . Swanapoel?"smiling through her seriously cracked lips of the blairy eyed middle aged white woman standing behind the Coca-Cola Confed cup media table.Not moments prior to this encounter with the baggy eyed hopefully paid volunteer woman,  myself and Mr Swanapoel where running a mock around the foyer of this larney hotle that Miss . Dangerfield had directed us to.A little too swanky for my liking which is probally the reason for childish behavour that was about to happen.

I look back at "Mr . Swanapoel" and return a confedant"Yes", to the now young stunning black girl who was issuing us with V.I.P layanards and room keys . She did inquire that we where 45 minutes early . I would like to think my comment went something like ,"As it goes!".I will like to get this out of the way but I had been drinking all afternoon with Miss Dangerfield and later with my partner in crime "MR.Swanapoel".These crazy people at this fine establishment didnt even bother to check for ID or enquire about our luggage.How is that even possible thanks god they dont work at the airport.Two men walk in to hotle taking photos of each other in Silver booths and you get offered a room.Game on!V.I.P room here we come.

We now had forty minutes to whack this for everythings its worth and hopefully not get busted.
The V.I.P room was deserted except for some food which we sampled, charged a couple of rounds of tequila and beer at the "Sqaure bar" to our rooms. While all the minutes count off the paranoia and excitement sets off as we keep leaving our passes and room keys all over the place and every time they aproach us we think we are busted and they just keep giving us back the rooms keys. To the rooms we go .The holy grail for the evening.

Giggling our way to the lifts, we the naughty threesom make our way to 408 to trash the room like the little rockin rolla's we think we going to be.After ruffling up the bed with a little double bounce (very rock n roll huh?) there is a knock at the door.Everyone panics as the gig appears to be up.

So Miss Dangerfield and Mr Swanapoel hide out in the toilets.With what hopefully seemed like little regard I open the door smiling with my heart pumping as fast as if I had the best sex ever but thinking here we go dude another arrest , the second of the year and this time it wasnt for illegal possession of municiapl property.Nothing like a bit of fraud ,theft and destruction of property to prop up your already existing Drinking and driving charge.

Mr. Swanapoel had left his room key down at the bar. I just laughed. A third time they had delivered our keys to our dirty illegal hands. It was time to bail.A quick exit down the fire escape seemd appropiriate only to be locked at the ground floor. We where going out the front door in hail of gun fire as the real MR Swanapoel and Mr Viljoen are entering the foyer.

We enter the foyer from the back of the lobby and calmly wave back at the confed lady and the hotle staff ,"we will see you later! thanks for the help."

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